literature

Story Advent Calendar - Day 16 - Day of Commitment

Deviation Actions

Weronikus's avatar
By
Published:
143 Views

Literature Text

"Mom?" Patricia's voice sounded over Anastasia's head.
"Huh- What-?" Anastasia blinked, and looked up tiredly.
"Mom, you said you'd drive me to the train station today." Patricia said.
Anastasia yawned, and stretched. "Mhm... What time is it?"
"We were supposed to leave at half past eight, and it's already nine." She said.
"Nine?!" Anastasia shot out of bed. "Oh, goodness, sweetie, I'm so sorry!" Anastasia said apologetically.
Patricia sighed. "Never mind, I won't be on time now anyway..." She mumbled, and left Anastasia's room.
Anastasia looked at Patricia's disappearing form, feeling very guilty. She overslept. Again. But it was Patricia's fault as well for not waking her in time...
No, this is plain silly, Ana. She said to herself. Blaming a mere child for something you didn't do... Pathetic...
She'll have to make it up to Patricia. Again.
She groaned and collapsed onto her bed. She squeezed he eyes shut and ran a hand through her hair. She had to get a grip on herself... She just had to...
After a few minutes, she sighed and went downstairs. Andrew was sitting by the table, munching at a roll.
"Overslept?" He asked matter-of-factly.
"Good morning to you to." She replied bitterly, sitting down by the table.
"Here." Andrew passed her a cup of coffee, which she gratefully accepted. Andrew always made her  a cup of coffee in the morning. It made her feel even worse about herself. Why can't she do anything for once?
"You're up earlier than usual, though." Anastasia observed, sipping her coffee. "Did you get less work home this time?"
He looked up. "I took a week off." He answered, taking another bight.
Anastasia frowned. "Why?"
"For Jill. She needs us." He answered simply.
"Oh." Anastasia looked down. Right. Jill. When Andrew told her, she couldn't believe it. When she found out, she immediately had a good long talk with Jill, and that was about it. She didn't do anything more.
What a terrible mother she was.
Trying to get rid of the troubling thoughts, she changed the subject. "So, what are your plans for today?" She asked.
"I'll probably head downtown with Jill, get some father-daughter relations going." He said.
"That's nice." Anastasia said softly, her guilt growing. Why didn't she think of that?
She took a deep breath and asked Andrew something she meant to ask for some time now. "Andrew, will you-?"
"No." He cut in, his expression hardening.
"Andrew, this really is silly! You should let it go finally!" She said gently.
"If he calls me, I'll let it go. It was his fault after all." He answered. "I won't apologize for something I didn't do."
"He might be thinking the same thing." Anastasia pointed out.
"He's just a damned geezer who's too proud to apologize." Andrew said with irritation, getting up. "I need to get ready." He said coldly, and left.
Anastasia sighed, and hid her head in her hands. A bad mother. A bad wife. In short, a bad person. What good did she do this week? Nothing, really.
Anastasia was feeling worse by the second. Not that it changed anything; She usually woke with a good mood, only to let it fall as people continuously let her know just how bad a person she was. Not intentionally, but by showing what they do she realizes just how bad she is.
She straightened. Enough. Enough of such thoughts. There were many things to do, and she can't let her mood get her.
She drank her coffee till the end, and pulled up her sleeves. Time to get to work.
During the next hours she cleaned, vacuumed, mopped the house, washed the clothes, took out the garbage, and cooked dinner. A usual day. As she was adding the finishing touches in the dinner, she readied the table. Just then Andrew and Jill came back.
"Hey, welcome back, you guys!" Anastasia called.
"Hi, mom!" Jill said happily. "It smells delicious!" She added, walking into the kitchen.
Anastasia smiled. She hadn't seen Jill in such a good mood for a long time.
Something got to her. Just going along won't be enough. She has to finally get a grip, and start doing things right. She can start by making the relationship between her and Jill better.
She hugged her close, clearly surprising her daughter. "I'm glad you think so." She said gently. "Go wash your hands and call Patricia."
She turned off the gas under the pot, and took it to the table, with Andrew closely following. She turned to him and saw a strange expression on his face.
"What happened?" She asked worriedly. He focused on her.
"I met George today." He said finally.
"Really?" She said, amazed. "And?"
He shook his head. "I didn't approach him. He seems to be happy, though. It seems he has grandchildren. Maybe... Maybe he forgot about the whole thing and doesn't want to know me anymore." Andrew said quietly.
"Oh, Andrew." Anastasia said softly, hugging him. "I'm sure that's not true. I'm sure he can't be truly happy without his brother."
"You think so?" He asked hopefully.
Anastasia pulled away and looked him in the face. Though Andrew was extremely proud, and didn't want to apologize first to George, it was obvious he really missed him. Now of all times especially. Anastasia understood him; She understood it was hard looking at his brother from afar, not able to approach, and share the happiness with him.
Though she still thought Andrew was being silly.
She cupped his face in her hands. "Andrew, give it up already. I know as well as you do that this has gone on for too long. I'm sure he wants you back just as strongly as you want him back."
Andrew sighed. "I suppose you're right." He said after a moment. "I'll call him after dinner."
After dinner, while Andrew was making his phone call, Anastasia called Patricia to her. "Listen, I booked you a train for tonight. I'm really sorry you'll get a day less, but you can still go, if you want."
Patricia's eyes widened. "Really?" She breathed.
Anastasia smiled and stroked her hair. "Really. We'll leave at eight o'clock, okay?"
"Okay. I'll go get ready." She grinned, and ran upstairs. Anastasia watched her leave with a smile on her face. She finally was setting things right.
"I did it." Andrew said in an almost disbelieving tone.
"Really?" Anastasia got up and walked up to him. "And?"
"You were right. He almost cried to the phone when I said I want to meet up and settle the past, become friends again. He said his family was finally coming back."
Anastasia smiled and hugged him. "I told you."
"You did. And I'm thankful to you." He replied, rubbing her back affectionately.
“But I didn’t do anything. I never do anything.” Anastasia added as a bitter afterthought.
Andrew stared at her for a good minute, making her finally uncomfortable. She looked away, trying to subdue the growing guilt inside of her.
“You really don’t see it, do you?” Andrew finally said.
“See what?” Anastasia turned back to him. “What a terrible wife and mother I am? I am more than aware of that, actually.”
“It seems you are unaware what a magnificent wife and mother you are, actually.” Andrew said with a sigh. “I’ll ask you a series of questions, and I want you to answer them truthfully. Okay?”
“Okay.” Anastasia said, slightly puzzled.
“Who takes care of the house?”
“Me. But-” Anastasia wanted to argue immediately, but Andrew raised his hand to silence her.
“Who always takes care of the kids and me, even when she herself is feeling unwell?”
“Well, me, but Andrew-”
“Who insisted on me reaching out to George first?”
“Yes, me, but please-”
“Who instantly went to talk to Jill after realizing her problem?”
“It was just one talk…”
“And you still believe you are a terrible person?” Andrew finally asked.
“…Even if I do that, it’s not enough…” Anastasia finally said weakly.
“You’re not perfect, Ana. Nobody is. You are just as human as each and every other person out there. Just because you make mistakes, just because you stumble along your way, does not instantly mean you are not a good person.”
“But I don’t commit-”
“You don’t commit? YOU don’t commit?” Andrew let out a weary chuckle, shaking his head. “Really, Ana, you keep on surprising me. Do you really think I’d continue this life with you, with all its hardships, if I didn’t think you commit? Commitment isn’t about being holy. It’s about learning and teaching, giving and taking. You’re can’t be someone you are not – but you can accept who you are, and strive to perfection, with the help of those around you. That’s commitment.”
Anastasia stared into Andrew’s eyes, and for the first time, allowed herself to believe.
Maybe she wasn’t such a terrible person as she thought she was.
Nothing to say today~ Just that Christmas is almost a week away! Yuppee~~!
© 2014 - 2024 Weronikus
Comments0
Join the community to add your comment. Already a deviant? Log In